It’s real, I wasn’t ready for this, it’s too horrible to believe, I just don’t want to believe it, I’m lost, I’m scared, I’m afraid, I’m not sure what to do next, no one knows what is happening, I need help…
First of all, let’s breath together. No, I’m not telling you to “calm down”, I’m saying breath is life and helps us to regulate.
4-7-8 breathing is a well-known anti-anxiety and nervous system regulation technique. Breath in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and breath out for a count of 8. The point is to exhale twice as long as you inhale, and be able to hold the breath in-between. After 3 times of repeating this breathing exercise, you should start to feel a little bit more centered.
Next, let’s get grounded in the present. To the best of your available abilities, let’s do the following exercise. Look around, find one thing you can see. Concentrate on it, be present with it. Listen, find one thing you can hear. Concentrate on it, be present with it. Smell, find one thing you can smell. Concentrate on it, be present with it. Touch, find one thing you can touch. Concentrate on it, be present with it. If you can take a drink of water. Be present as you do.
Now that you are more centered, focus on some things you are truly grateful for. The mind has a difficult time focusing on fear, anxiety, and other strong emotions when we are practicing gratitude. Again, I’m not trolling you with any love and light, this is science and it helps.
Okay. Now, list what is absolutely necessary for you to do today. What’s on fire that you have control over? What can you change, what can you plan for, what can you check off the list now? Do that. Feel a sense of accomplishment, power, and control.
Now, make time to grieve. Many of us are grieving the loss of innocence, naivety, access, and privilege. We grieve the loss of what we had a month ago, of what is being taken from us, of the future that we were building. Journal, paint, safely destroy things (remember to be mindful of your self and your audience, don’t turn your emotions into someone else’s trauma), be creative, be physical, cry, scream (mindfully), make love, masturbate, get out in nature, game, sleep, sing, anything that is healthy and helpful.
It’s overwhelming, it’s too much, there’s no way we were built for all of this coming on so fast.
What we do now is regulate and grieve, so we can keep going tomorrow.